Loaning $ to Family or Friends

[PrincessPerky]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I don't like to borrow from family. I never have it to loan.

[Snoopy2645]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I dont borrow money to anyone & I never ask to borrow from anyone thats how my parents raised me. If I dont have money for something I go without my dad used to say the best way to get rid of someone was borrow them money because you would for sure never see or here from them again LOL.

[zakity]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I loaned money to my sister. She put it in her bankruptcy and it got discharged. I am really ticked and I don't know if I will ever be able to have a relationship with her. I will talk to her and stuff for family's sake. I don't plan on socializing with her anymore. We used to get together occasionally and do things when our schedules allow, but I won't do that anymore.

[TBH]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I agree with everybody who says not to loan it unless you'd be comfortable never getting it back.

I did have a bad experience. Loaned $500 to an ex boyfriend. I mean, I knew the guy was a flake, but I guess I thought he'd pay me back eventually. It's been many, many years now. When I had my son, was out of work, and was trying to buy a house, I seriously thought about writing a letter to his mother asking her to honor the debt, but I thought that would be pretty despicable of me. Just because he's despicable doesn't mean I have to lower myself, too.

[shelbylovesmelby]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I don't loan $. My friend along time ago had me buy some things @ my work for her & it took months to see the $ & it was only like $35! Then some time later she needed me to make her car pmt for her because they were going to reposess her car... NO WAY! Even if I had it I wasn't going to give it! Besides it takes 3 mo of not paying to start the processes of repo'n & if it took that long to see $35 how long do ya think it would be til I could see $300 & that was my whole pay check @ the time.

The only person we ever loan $ to is my mom cause she never figures out her check book & once in a while bounces a check & she always pays it back. & I've paid back my loans from her as well.

but I don't ever ask unless I absolutly have to.

[Firefly]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I don't loan money out to family or friends. You never see it again and it leads to hard feelings.

[lrjohnson]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I loaned over a thousand dollars to a friend once, and it really almost broke my heart. I believed she was one of my longest term, closest, dearest friends. I told her that it was not fiancially easy at that time for me to loan. I have no idea where she is now, and thinking of it clutches my heart and makes my head hurt and eyes water.

That said, I would loan money again, and in fact offered a friend recently (she bought a smaller, cheaper house but the first hasn't sold yet). I think I might rather be hurt again than become too cynical. Though I must admit that my circle of friends is unlikely to ask to borrow, except maybe the "$5 cash for this garage sale because I only have my debit card" 24-hour loan.

If I loaned again I would not expect to get it back, and be pleasantly surprised when I did.

[Bluezy]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I loan NO ONE money. Never again! If someone I know needs a quick loan I direct them to my banking institution. Period.

[Ima saver]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I loaned a friend money once. I was very upset that she did not offer to at least pay me back $5 a week, but she didn't . Finally, she paid it back several years later. Now, I would just give it and not expect it back.

[locolorenzo24]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I can't say that I've never had to borrow, but the terms are understood....

I owe my dad about 5000 from 2002 (related to paying off gambling debt and funding a westward trip.) 1.5% interest from then...but the loan will be paid back when I'm out of school and working in nursing.

My brother on the other hand, owes my mom a lot of money from needing loans for school, cosigning student loans, etc.....My mom winds up using it as a guilt trip and things came to a head this last summer, with my brother having to drive 9 HOURS to go pick up his wife and daughter from the house because she wasn't going to stay there!! Now he's graduating with a masters, and he's probably not going to invite her for his ceremony in the spring as she cannot be civil with the family....ARRGGGHH! Nothing like putting the "fun" in dysfunctional!

[Ima saver]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

We loaned 2 workers money. When we took it out of their pay, they quit and have not worked since. Figure that out? I will not loan again!

[frugalfarmwife]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

Right now I owe my mother a very substancial amount of money and it's REALLY put the fun in disfunctional! We do have a written note on it and it will be repaid when my fathers will and trust are settled but it's taking a lot longer than it should. My brothers are dragging their feet on settling the last of the paperwork and it has made my life miserable, typical of my family.

In my family owing equals being owned and it's getting a LITTLE more than a bit tiring, the holidays were NOT fun!

Hopefully this will be settled within the next 60 days and in the long run will be worth it, this loan enabled us to purchase 36 acres of land free and clear. (Once mom is paid off).

Kris

[CHigh95]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I bought a new car one year. Instead of trading in my old one, I gave it to a female relative who was waiting for the bus in the dark every morning and had already been attacked once. She was working and I figured she could take over the payments ($276 a month). There was no written agreement, only verbal. I could not afford 2 car payments, which is why I wanted to help someone out.

We discussed the payments and she agreed to pay them plus her portion of the insurance since we had to add her to the policy and the car was still in my name. She said the payments were reasonable. Then one day she had an accident. While on the phone with the insurance company the rep told me that they had just paid out on another accident she had in that car. She never told me about the first accident . At this point she only had the car for about 1 month!! 2 accidents in one month!!

Then the MTA bus strike began...30 days long. With no car and no bus, she was unable to go to work on foot because it was about 15 miles away. She lost her job. Guess who got stuck with 2 car payments? Never once did she offer to find a way to keep up her end of the bargain. With the car out of commision she had no motivation to pay for it. That whole fiasco put us in such debt that we had to do debt counseling.

[BillsGirl]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I don't loan money to friends or family. I'll give it - as long as I'm not giving a drunk a drink - but won't lend it.

As a rule of thumb I do the same, My mom always told me never give money expecting it back if you loan it expect them to keep it... and people usually did, its also a form of a character test a good person will return the money a bad one wont...... besides right now we are so broke we need money loaned to us but we wont ask!!!

[flash]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

In my family owing equals being owned and it's getting a LITTLE more than a bit tiring, the holidays were NOT fun!
(Once mom is paid off).

Kris

Well put. There is something inherent in loaning money or even giving money to family that has invisible strings ALL OVER. No matter what is SAID, people, especially parents, believe that money entitles them to give opinions and watch over your shoulder and try to control how the money is used, etc. This has destroyed my brother's marriage. Hubby and I started saying no thanks after six months of marriage and unwanted ADVICE.