Do people think you are poor by your frugal ways??

[Inkstain82]

Great statement! This is so true of us, also. We CAN afford things. We CHOOSE not to have them.

This is a really hard mindset to get used to. Now that we're not living paycheck to paycheck and such, it's very hard to wrap our heads around this sometimes. We were both born and raised in families that spent whatever they could, usually because even that wasn't enough to pay all the bills.

[GREENBACK]

Great statement! This is so true of us, also. We CAN afford things. We CHOOSE not to have them.

I'll go along with this as well. This possibly makes me feel "rich" more than anything. Knowing that I can buy it but choosing not to is somewhat empowering to me.

[disneysteve]

This possibly makes me feel "rich" more than anything. Knowing that I can buy it but choosing not to is somewhat empowering to me.

I can tell you, though, as a parent of a teenager, it is sometimes very difficult to communicate this concept to a 13-year-old who doesn't have much grasp of the need to save for the future. She knows we have money and sometimes doesn't quite get why we refuse to spend it on things that we can obviously afford. And that's coming from a kid who has what I'd consider an above average understanding of financial matters.

[boosami]

I'm not frugal, but coming from the other side of things...

When I see people clipping coupons, arguing over 50 cents on a bill, upset over a minor price increase, driving across town to save 1% on gasoline... I tend to think they are poor, or at least "poor enough" that it substantially impacts them financially. Most of all though, when I hear people complain openly about money in a social setting I think of them as poor.

[disneysteve]

I'm not frugal, but coming from the other side of things...

When I see people clipping coupons, arguing over 50 cents on a bill, upset over a minor price increase, driving across town to save 1% on gasoline... I tend to think they are poor, or at least "poor enough" that it substantially impacts them financially. Most of all though, when I hear people complain openly about money in a social setting I think of them as poor.

That's an interesting perspective. Thanks for sharing it. So you assume frugal people are poor and being frugal out of necessity. Is that correct? Knowing that you are a regular here, has your view changed at all over time? Surely you realize that many of us are frugal by choice.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Most of all though, when I hear people complain openly about money in a social setting I think of them as poor.

I'm more likely to guess people who do that are poor than I am to guess it of people who do not do that. I'm even more likely to think they are a bit socially uncouth regardless of whether they are poor.

[MonkeyMama]

Actually, like some others said, our frugal lifestyle leads others to believe we are "rich" and cheap.

We have a nice home, my spouse hasn't worked in years, and we don't have any non-mortgage debt or the same money whoas as most our peers. Thus, many have told me to my face they assume we make WAY more than we do. 2-3 times as much. Interestingly, we make generally the least of most of our circle of friends.

Because of both our lower income (the whole 1-income thing/taking a lot of time off to be a mommy) and our frugal natures, most people think we are just plain cheapskates.

When we were younger, it always amazed me how no one could really put 2 and 2 together. The very same people who were jealous of our home and that my spouse did not work, would chastise us for not going out more and having newer cars. Literally.

HELLO???

Things change. These days, I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people are assuming we have financed our lifestyle with our house, since most people our age, here, overbought, over borrowed with equity, and our losing their homes. Frugal is suddenly more "in," that is for sure. (Ironically, my income has gone up substantially and we are able to splurge a little more now).

YEah, I think we just confuse people. Now people are cutting back and thinking they can identify with us more, and we're like getting out more and taking advantage of all the good deals on products and travel.

[disneysteve]

When we were younger, it always amazed me how no one could really put 2 and 2 together. The very same people who were jealous of our home and that my spouse did not work, would chastise us for not going out more and having newer cars. Literally.

HELLO???

I know exactly what you mean. I will never understand how people can throw away money day after day and then not realize why they are always broke.

[am_vanquish]

Great statement! This is so true of us, also. We CAN afford things. We CHOOSE not to have them.

My wife & I are just starting out, we're both 22, and this is the perspective that we're using to "frame" our financial style. I grew up very poor, she grew up never wanting (but not necessarily spoiled, her parents are great financial role models for us & taught her to balance wants/needs). I find that this perspective is a good insulation against the materialistic pressures of the world.

As for how people perceive me as cheap/frugal and rich/poor, it depends on the group:

Coworkers: Salary in my field is very predictable. Thus, those I work with know what I make to within 5%-10%. I consider it a generous salary for someone my age, and we're saving about 40% of our gross. However, the rest of my co-workers are the new cars, new clothes, $200 in bar tabs each week type of crowd. Therefore, they view me as cheap.

Family: I grew up poor & broke out of it. My mother & sister have never broken out of it. They have always lived paycheck-to-payday advanced loan-to-paycheck & they probably always will. My wife & I refuse to tell them how much I make. However, I believe this causes them to think I make even more. They think we're outrageously rich just because I make comments like "Oh, we're just trying to put some extra money aside for when DW goes to nursing school so she doesn't have to work so hard & she can focus on school."

Random Strangers: Because I drive a car that's 10 years old, order the cheapest thing on the menu & refuse to buy new clothes unless the threads are showing, an outside observer would most likely think I'm scraping by. I've really opened my eyes to how I view other people. I used to be fooled by the shiny new cars & big houses. Now, I realize that the guy in the 2009 BMW M6 Convertible probably can't sleep at night because he's in debt up to his eyeballs while the guy in the 2002 Nissan probably just made a generous donation to his alma mater to sponsor a scholarship. As nice as the BMW is, I'd rather be the guy in the Nissan.

[boosami]

That's an interesting perspective. Thanks for sharing it. So you assume frugal people are poor and being frugal out of necessity. Is that correct? Knowing that you are a regular here, has your view changed at all over time? Surely you realize that many of us are frugal by choice.

Yes, I know many are frugal by choice. I know that from growing up with frugal-but-well-off parents, friends, co-workers, and by so many of my wonderful SavingAdvice pals! Despite that, my first impression is always that the "frugal" people I notice are poor, unless I otherwise know enough about them to know they are frugal out of choice rather than necessity.

[Ima saver]

I have gone to the bank with my husband (in his work clothes) to open up a C.D. I NEVER dress fancy, just jeans and a shirt. We wanted to open a C.D. to get a special rate being offered. The lady at the desk said, "No, you cannot open that particular C.D. because it requires an initial deposit of $50,000"
I said, well, I can give you $100,000, is that ok?
People always think I am poor until they see my house or what I drive.


BTW, my house and my car are completely paid for!

[disneysteve]

my first impression is always that the "frugal" people I notice are poor

My first impression when I see people being frugal is that they are smart. They may be poor. They may not be. But I know so very many people who make lousy choices with their money that when I see someone making good choices, I'm impressed by that first.

[Ima saver]

I agree!

[ceejay74]

Knowing that you are a regular here, has your view changed at all over time? Surely you realize that many of us are frugal by choice.

My view has definitely changed. Before, when I would kind of splash money (well, credit) around, I KNEW I was poor, so I should have guessed that many of the other people that spend conspicuously probably were too. And I should have realized the opposite about conspicuously frugal people, since the multimillionaire founder of my company was a notorious cheapskate in his personal life. But no, I assumed the people that cared about the details were poor, and that the people who didn't think twice about a check were well-off.

Now I know it's the exact opposite. Our most conspicuously consuming friends, who admittedly do have pretty high income, are drowning in debt and undersaving like crazy (especially considering the lifestyle they'll want to support when they retire).

We may be still in financial trouble, and we look poor now that we consider every penny, but we are way richer, I think, than most of our friends because we have control of our finances, and an idea of how we're getting out of debt and eventually into savings. So people can think of us as poor, because we ARE, but eventually we won't be poor anymore and they will probably still think we are, because I never want to stop knowing where every cent goes.

Ramble, ramble, ramble...OK, I'm done.

[tripods68]

Being "rich" to me is all relative.

Yes! We make a decent income ($160K a year) but no way have I ever projected myself to others as poor, frugal, or rich type guy. I always prided myself of just being regular approachable "ME" who comes to work in my shorts from time to time matched with worn out t-shirts, while driving a old beat-up 95 Nissan Altima that has a broken antenna. Life is simply!