Spinoff: How do you and your spouse/SO handle your finances?

[simpleyme]

I agree that if you are not married things should be divided up fairly, even when married that may work unlessyou have kids than that would muddy the clear waters of equal pay system

my husband sister always pulls her weight, she lost her job it did not matter she had to pay her half of the mortgage ,she had no money so she had to use her credit cards, we feel sad for her she thinks she is being strong we think she is being used

both types of doing things can go wrong if you are not carefull

[disneysteve]

my husband sister always pulls her weight, she lost her job it did not matter she had to pay her half of the mortgage ,she had no money so she had to use her credit cards

That's insane. What is the point of getting married if you aren't going to work together and provide mutual support for one another? I can't imagine forcing my wife to go into credit card debt to pay half of the mortgage (or anything else for that matter). You aren't just roommates. You are husband and wife.

[simpleyme]

as she is telling us how even things are we feel so sad for her , we think he is a jerk and that he is taking advantage of her
they think things are fair and even

[Gruntina]

as she is telling us how even things are we feel so sad for her , we think he is a jerk and that he is taking advantage of her
they think things are fair and even

Unfortunately she is "letting" this happen and not putting her foot in to protect herself. It will get bad if she ends up with a huge credit card bill and in the case he walked out of the marriage.
But if a financial plan in marriage that is causing one to be distressed while the other is not which could have been avoidable, that is a red flag that someone is being taken advantage of or being naive.


It is irrelevant if the account is joined or separate in marriage in order for couples to be each self sufficient. Communicate and educating each other about what and where the money is at, passwords, creating wills, listing beneficiaries on documents and etc so in the case if anything happens, each would know what to do and is protected.

My husband and I could function either having separate accounts or joint accounts and we opt for the joint account so we can analyze where we stand financially together and see what opportunities we have with our money. I would hate to miss out on opportunities as such as thinking we will never be able for afford something big since we did not see the whole picture of our finances together.

[jIM_Ohio]

Unfortunately she is "letting" this happen and not putting her foot in to protect herself. It will get bad if she ends up with a huge credit card bill and in the case he walked out of the marriage.
But if a financial plan in marriage that is causing one to be distressed while the other is not which could have been avoidable, that is a red flag that someone is being taken advantage of or being naive.


It is irrelevant if the account is joined or separate in marriage in order for couples to be each self sufficient. Communicate and educating each other about what and where the money is at, passwords, creating wills, listing beneficiaries on documents and etc so in the case if anything happens, each would know what to do and is protected.

My husband and I could function either having separate accounts or joint accounts and we opt for the joint account so we can analyze where we stand financially together and see what opportunities we have with our money. I would hate to miss out on opportunities as such as thinking we will never be able for afford something big since we did not see the whole picture of our finances together.

if they get divorced, he is liable for half the CC debt. I would remind him of that.

[Gruntina]

if they get divorced, he is liable for half the CC debt. I would remind him of that.

I would not bet on that!

Speaking through experiences, I had to pay ALL credit debts after the divorce because only my name were on it. I am a California Divorcee so its pretty well know there is a 50/50 split but individual credit card didn't count in this case.

Her saving grace might be alimony though as she is not earning money at this time.

[aurielle]

[QUOTE=simpleyme;160082]my husband sister always pulls her weight, she lost her job it did not matter she had to pay her half of the mortgage ,she had no money so she had to use her credit cards, we feel sad for her she thinks she is being strong we think she is being used/QUOTE]

Now see I think that's just wrong. If DH or I lost our job, there is no question in either of our minds that the other will completely pitch in financially even though our finances are mostly separate. For us, its not as cut and dried as all that. We are generous to each other with our money. If DH has to pay extra on the heating bill in winter and is complaining about it, I transfer some money to him. If we go out to dinner, he pays. If we're out somewhere and he wants to stop at a store and pick up something but is short on cash, I'll buy it. We are very flexible about it. We both pitch in money when needed and don't think twice about it and we definitely DON'T keep score. As we like to say, it all comes out in the wash.

[Beccagold]

DH & I have joint finances now. We kept them seperate when we were engaged, but once we were married joined everything. We did give ourselves allowances when were first married since DH & I had very different spending habits. (he's a spender, I'm a saver) Now everything is joint except for one CC he has so that he can buy things without my seeing every detail since I'm in charge of all of the finances. I do the budgeting, bill paying, and investing. He kills bugs. Its worked out well!