Rudeness

[leggzz66]

Theres a member here whos been very rude to me. The only one in 3 years of being here. I know it shows on my nic that i havent been here that long, but i had another id on here, acezz4e_tish. I lost that id and email on yahoo, so really i have been here about that long, or pretty close too it.

We are all here, i would think for saving money. Not to be petty and post and pm rude comments to one another.

First off, when i came here, i had no clue as to some of the things and what they stood for, and ive been an onliner for 8 years now. I know the lol and others regularly used online, but came here and wondered what dh was and dd and ds and dg, stuff like that.

Everyone, especially mommy from missouri and im a saver have been the most incredible women on here ive talked back and forth with on this site. I thank you ladies for all your advice and help with the newbies, including me back in the day,lol, on this site and everyone else has been awesome also, but those 2 stand out for me more then most, no offenses to anyone.

I think its going to far to say, that someone is uneducated, cant spell and has a third grade level of learning. Stuff like this should be handled by someone. Im even willing to take my punishment for my part, however I was not so rude ,I assure all.

I called her a smarty pants in reply to much worse comments shes used on me, and that led her to her last comment about myself having a third grade level of intelligence.

All of which resulted in a mere typo of mine. Ive seen many typos online, i call it typonese myself, but to be treated as i have been by this person and the things said about me has been unreal.

I cant even begin to list all the typos ive seen just on this site alone, but never have i or have i seen anyone spell check someone before and when i replyed privately to this person, the responses back where just nasty.

Bottom line to me is, we all use other words for things, like, if i typed out husband, i wouldnt type all of darling husband, thats why dh was started by someone, somewhere at sometime. Spelling shouldnt be an online issue especially with all the "shortcuts" taken, i like to be different, myself, and so what if i post one word in exchange for the correct way, just like when i say cool to someone, i dont type cool, i type kewl. We all have our quirks like that. I would also just like to state for myself here, that i have a college education in criminal justice, I stay home with my kids instead though. My dh works in our family, four kids, 2 grandchildren, well 2nd one due by Christmas. Thats one word i dont use a short cut on, some do, maybe even most do, but for my own personal life, there is no Christmas w/o Christ, especially since its his bday. I dont hold any ill will towards anyone for thinking or spelling differently though. Each person is an individual and should be allowed to be so without a teacher standing by and having a public opion to it. Thats just rude and to me meant to be demeaning to someone. We may be online, but we all are real people with real feelings and shouldnt be treated by anyone in a rude way. That just hurts others feelings and thats not what anyone should be here for.

Just my opinion, i dont expect anyone to agree with it but feel alot will, just based on the fact of how others have treated others here in the past. Always helpful not demeaning. I always have told new people, who always start with "this may seem like a stupid question.... "not to be be shy, we arent and my dad always told me the only stupid question is one that goes unasked.

[herm4]

Yes, feelings can be hurt, even on-line, by people we don't know.....sometimes it is just the way something is read, without the tone of voice, things can easily be misunderstood. Hang in there, there's a few bad apples in every bunch.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

If there is a truly intolerable post, one might report it to the forum managers. That's done by clicking on the little red triangle that appears at the top right hand side of each post in a thread. Clicking it opens a form by which to report a problem.

[mom-from-missouri]

There is no reason for it. As I tell my daughters, you gain nothing by treating someone like that.
We are going to have differences on here--but we can still differ and use respect. Thats just common manners.
I too have had someone on here twice, in the years I have been on here, be rather rude. Once, I was told I was too stupid to homeschool, and other to tell me farmers were stupid people. The first ignored. The second, I quoted the old bumper sticker to--before you put down a farmer, don't talk with your mouth full of food...
Glad I was nice!! I try to be. (If I wasn't and my parents found out--even though 50 is getting near, they would probably still tan my hide!!!)

[katwoman]

Wow, I feel bad(ly) for you.


And for anyone who cares, yes, I know "badly" is incorrect, hence the () but it is used in the present day vernacular so deal with it.


Again, sorry you had to deal with nasty people.

[boefixepa]

I whole heartedly agree with you. I wanted to add just as a side note the following.

In real life I am dealing with, for the first time I may add, a mother - in - law. We are different people and have different ways of doing things. I've dealt with her little quirks and difference for a while. Well she finally did something that to me crossed the line. And I told her that her actions where not acceptable to me and I just won't do that. (Short version, she got me and hubby a baby gift, then asked us to pay for it, then asked for it back when she needed it for another grandbaby at her own home!! A gift is a gift! I held my tounge when asked to pay for it. I drew the line when she asked for it back! FYI hubby agrees with me.) When we told her no, she did not take the answer. Instead she keep trying to get me to see her side and do it her way. When I started to get annoyed I told her we'd have to talk about tomorrow, because I didn't want to mean to her or mad at her. I thought we had it all worked out over two conversations Monday. Tuesday morning she calls me and goes on and on about how I hurt her feelings and that we will not be talked to in that manner and blah...blah...blah...blah.... you get the idea. It's still a mess as I try to figure out with hubby where to go from here.

Now the reason I am saying all this. It was never her intention to offend me, I understand that. It was never my intention of offend her, not sure she understands that. Different people say things in different ways and different people take things in different ways. I tend to direct and very logical and don't get emotional about things. Sometimes I think I act more like a man in that respect then the sterotypical women. My mother-in-law has reacted like the sterotypical women, has read way toooo much into this and has created a mountain out of mole hill. Shes over thought this to the point of me wanting to beat my head against the wall. I see now why her kids just do what she wants even though I think it's crazy!

So many times, (not saying this is one of them, but it happens alot) what starts out as a simple hope to get a point of veiw or perspective across turns into WAY MORE THEN IT NEEDS TO!!!

Another thing, again with personalities, is the level at which different people care or take offense. Some people can let the world role off their back an go on their marry way. They may not even be offended when it was intened. Others get offended at the slighest little thing when the thought never even crossed the other's mind. On many levels it a choice to be offended and I try to avoid, as I have better things to worry about, especailly when it comes to on-line stuff because really some people are just out there doing it for kicks and giggles to get a rise out of you.

Best of luck to you and I hope you get things worked out.

[PrincessPerky]

I am so sorry that someone was rude here, it happens so rarely but it does happen. I happen to be a terrible speller and horrible with typos myself!

Boe...I'd give her the gift back, then give her all future gifts back right away..remind her you appreciate the thought, but know she can't really afford that sort of thing.

Or alternately pay for the other baby gift..making sure it is known to recipient and mom that you paid for it....

OK I wouldn't really do that...well, might not...it would be funny though ..but then I am not really a nice person.

actually a reasonable compromise might be to sell it back to her?

[nelson84]

I started to read the post but gave up, to long. Sounded to sad, lets turn that frown upsidedown .

Now back to budgeting...........

[cicy33]

I also am sorry to see that someone was rude, especially about spelling. There are times that I will go back and read one of mine and go, man I spelled horribly, but I sure don't think it should be a big deal

[Sporkman]

Don't let it bother you. This is the internet, full of all kinds of people behind the cloak of anonymity. You're bound to run into people you don't like or that are generally unpleasant. Ignore them & move on.

[Lori63]

Sorry that happened to you.

[InDebtInDC]

Please relax and don't let it bother you. Just consider it a mental exercise and that the person is attacking the argument, not you because they obviously don't know you.

When you argue for a living like me you will develop a thick skin. Plus you know that when they resort to personal attacks, their argument has no merits.

It's just like people who cut you off on the road and then proceed to give you the finger. What? You just cut me off!

Just let it go and don't waste a moment of your time about it. People who think they know everything know nothing if they keep on thinking that.