Cheating

[Hot dog]

I found out yesterday my son cheated on a history test. Any suggestions for punishment? Just teasing.... kinda. I am just so disappointed. He is 16 and he should know better by now. Well he does know better. I am just disappointed that he would choose to do this. He is really smart so there is not reason he shouldn't have just studied and worked hard for a grade. I guess it just scares me that he is going to continue with this thinking throughout life. He is a hard worker when it comes to work. He is a junior a year away from college. I hope anyway but not if he continues on with this. Any suggestions??

[tinapbeana]

have you talked to him about it? did he give any indication about why he cheated? i ask because it seems like whatever punishment you choose should address the root cause

[Hot dog]

He didn't say much when I was talking. However he did lie about it which is a double whammy. But what are you going to do when you cheat one leads to the other. The test was on a Monday and he went to go stay at a college for acouple of days. He did get back on Sat. even and had all day Sun to study. He said he had another test to study for and was tired so didn't study for that one. Although his story was that he just turned it in blank because he didn't study. Found out different from the teacher yesterday though. I had been talking to him about being able to choose the right thing when he goes to college cause there is always going to be a party and he will have to be able to say no I have a paper or a test and go study when everyone is partying. then he tries to use a trip to a college as an excuse.

[tinapbeana]

well, i don't know if this will matter a hill of beans to him or not, but at my college if you were caught cheating it meant expulsion. i'm just guessing there was also no refund on the tuition either, which was about 12.5k per semester...

sounds like he's really interested and looking forward to college, which is a good thing. did you ask him what it would look like to a college if it was marked that he started cheating his junior year, right when he started visiting colleges? what school will want to accept someone when it could look like they tried to cheat their way in?

i'm going to start sounding like my father (grr!) but what he said almost always turns out to be true: we do stupid things when we don't take the time to stop and think about the big picture.

yeah, a good grade on the test will help get a good grade in a class which might help you get into college. it SOUNDS like you're thinking ahead, but you're only looking at the good half of the picture. what about the bad half? you get caught cheating and fail the test and/or the class... or you get caught cheating and re-take the test and pass it, but the fact that you cheated is still on your record. OR you get in the habit of cheating instead of working for your grades and get caught in the act once you're in college, where the stakes are higher.

usually, the easy way out only seems like a good idea if you look at half the possible outcomes...

[Broken Arrow]

To me, cheating and lying is much, much worse than a failing grade. I make it very clear to my kids that, when I ask them a serious question, under no circumstances are they to lie to me.

Yes, I am strict that way. However, I also believe that, without honesty, there is no trust, and without trust, it will severely hurt all aspects of their adult lives later.

My kids know that they would be severely punished if they ever lie to me.

[Hot dog]

BA I am totally in agreement with you. I hate a liar and have told him this before. He went to the teacher and has done two extra credit reports to help his grade but it is still not good. I told him he has a little over a year with us before he moves out or does whatever he choses and now we are back to square one. He is a liar and I can not trust him and it takes a long time to get that trust and there isn't much left. He is truly going to have to work hard at it. I told him who cares that you failed a test I would get upset like I did when he told me but he did the right thing by trying to make up for it going to the teacher for extra credit It says much more about your character as a man and your integrity for you to cheat and then lie about it.

[shengmei]

I am a university instructor, and the first thing we do for an honors violation is to strip the student of all university scholarships.

Not to scare you, but since this is a financial forum.....cheating could cost him thousands in the future.

[bigsaver]

I think he is lucky the cheating occurred in high school and not college as the previous poster mentioned. I think he probably learned enough on his own as far as a punishment and should realize if this were to occur in college or graduate school, he would be done for life as far as higher education.

[Saving in So Cal]

I have read several articles lately suggesting that cheating is becoming more commonplace in high school because kids are facing increasing pressure to be superstars in all aspects of their life and they can't do it. (Who can.) I'll bet if you talk to other parents, you'll find you are not alone in trying to deal with this. In addition to addressing the cheating and lying behaviors, you may need to address concerns he may be having about measuring up.

[Scanner]

It's a common problem - did you know there's been a recent debacle with teachers cheating?

Yup.

Apparently with NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND ACT teachers are under enormous pressue to get their kids to have passing scores so teachers have been caught loading the system so the school gets their money. It's as blatant as teachers changing the answers on their tests with an eraser.

So. . .it's a toughie.

One may say the only thing your son did wrong was get caught as I know many students who cheated their way through college.

Perhaps a lesson to your son that education is a privledge, not a right, and that studying hard is something he should be grateful for. A summer of the most menial job at minimum wage may be instructive.