Is It Tacky Using Coupons On A First Date?

[Aleta]

LuxLIving: I noticed by what you said that you obviously did date your hubby and eventually married him. It didn't stop you from marrying him. I agree that some guys don't have it together when it comes to dressing, but that is where we come in to help them. Sometimes they like the help. It just seemed to sell a possible good man short. I would rather be with a great guy than a good dresser. Good dressers are a dime a dozen. I'm just not in the looking good thing. I think that's how people get into debt problems. They are trying to impress people. Just my thoughts!

[Fern]

I'm not pretending this makes sense, but i am definitely a frugal person but it would be a bit of a turnoff and possible red flag if it happened on a first date..but not if it was a 5th date!

[Broken Arrow]

I agree that some guys don't have it together when it comes to dressing, but that is where we come in to help them. Sometimes they like the help. It just seemed to sell a possible good man short. I would rather be with a great guy than a good dresser. Good dressers are a dime a dozen. I'm just not in the looking good thing. I think that's how people get into debt problems. They are trying to impress people. Just my thoughts!

Oh that's a relief! Now I can stop trying to put on this tie before I end up strangling myself. Anyways, yes, we or at least I do appreciate the help.

I'm not pretending this makes sense, but i am definitely a frugal person but it would be a bit of a turnoff and possible red flag if it happened on a first date..but not if it was a 5th date!

*Hides his Arby's 3 for $2 roast beef coupon*

[fairy74]

I would be impressed if he used a coupon on the first date, it would definitely weed out the non-frugals fast...I like people who are not afraid to be themselves....anybody can pay full price for a meal, it takes a little more smarts to get it for cheaper!

[poundwise]

If she thinks its tacky, then she doesn't have to use one when she pays for her meal.

Right?

[pearlieq]

If she thinks its tacky, then she doesn't have to use one when she pays for her meal.

Careful. If you keep sweet talking like that you'll have to beat 'em off with a stick!

[DebbieL]

Nobody I dated ever did that. I would have found it a bit of a turn off. I am frugal, but I wouldn't want to feel like someone didn't think I was worth a full priced meal (just psychological - I really don't care how much they spend or if it's expensive, but a coupon on the first date would seem tacky to me). I would probably be okay with it if they said something to me when they asked me out such as "Please don't think I'm a cheapskate or anything, but I have a coupon for this great restaurant I've been dying to try out and I was wondering if you would like to come with me?"

[Broken Arrow]

You know, this does touch upon a peripheral issue that I've been musing on occasion, and that's the cost of dating. Thing is, although I would think it's cute if I had a date and she used a coupon, I personally would not go that route. I agree with many that it just sends the wrong signal. But that's not my point....

The bottom line is, it costs to date, and without sending the wrong signals, I figure it will cost roughly around $30 per date... and um, that to me is pretty steep just for the sake of dating... which for some reason a lot of people around me are pushing me to do.

Why, I don't know. All I know is that budgeting for a "date fund" isn't palatable to me at all at this point....

Yeah... guess I better get comfortable with bachelorhood, because it looks like I'm going to be here for a while.

[tinapbeana]

come on people, it's all in how you phrase it!

"hey, have you been to restaurant X yet? uncle bob heard me talking about it and gave me a coupon to go, but i didn't want to eat there by myself. would you mind going with me?"

and this one is for BA: "i know better than to try and impress you with fancy restaurants and shiney trinkets. let's do something crazy: get a cup of coffee and try to actually get to know each other."

[LuxLiving]

Yeah, B.A. see the thread below about what things you can do on a day off for free. Lots of stuff doesn't require a $30 date.

http://www.savingadvice.com/forums/everything-else/26281-help-needed-things-one-can-do-free.html#post105987

And besides that - aren't YOU the prize that she's supposed to be trying to capture?

When's she taking YOU out to eat??

[threebeansalad]

"hey, have you been to restaurant X yet? uncle bob heard me talking about it and gave me a coupon to go, but i didn't want to eat there by myself. would you mind going with me?"

I agree with Tina. My main issue with a coupon on the first date is the message that the restaurant was picked ONLY BECAUSE he had a coupon, not because he thought it would be a great place to go. It has nothing to do with how much he spends (my first date with my husband was a road race [we each paid our own entry fees] followed by a light breakfast at a coffee shop).

There are a lot of of coupon users like this out there (ie. buy food they don't like because they had a coupon, eat at mediocre restaurants because they have a coupon, etc.)

[PrincessPerky]

I agree that it definitely matters how the coupon is used. If the guy or gal calls out to the waitress, "Hey hon, don't forget to take off the coupon" then that would be a big no. But if he/she discreetly hands in the coupon along with the payment, I see nothing wrong with that. Also, the payer shouldn't try to influence what the other person orders in order to use the coupon. Nor should the payer brag about having used it. Just use it quietly and leave it at that.

ditto

[nanamom]

I figure coupons are just another way to pay so what is the big deal?

[kealina]

i don't think it would be appropriate for a first date unless you phrase it tactfully like some of the OP mentioned...
my DH didn't start using coupons until we were a bit more established...
that said, most of our early dates were pretty cheap... $3 for a cheese dog and drink, $5 for some dim sum, or $4 for snacks to take on a beach picnic...
even sometimes when we just spent time together and didn't spend anything... of course, i think part of it depends on age and expectations... we were both young, broke students when we started dating...

[disneysteve]

I figure it will cost roughly around $30 per date

Wow. That's a cheap date. Around here, you couldn't do a casual dinner and a movie for much under $50, and forget a nicer dinner, unless you mean $30/person.