How expensive are kids, really?

[vishenda]

Re: How expensive are kids, really?

wow Im learning a lot from this discussion, mothers keep on sharing!

[Marcymox]

Re: How expensive are kids, really?

The real expenses come later in a child's life. You can have an extremely frugal life with a small child. Cloth diapers, b-feed, ect. Clothes for a baby are so cheap, and simple.

The costs are things that add up later- band, swim team, gifted courses, remedial tutoring,summer school instrument rental, clothes for chorus, scout uniforms, yearbooks, lab fees. I could type for hours and still not cover all the unpredicatables that come with older kids. Basically each year gets more expensive as your kids get older. I found the baby years the cheapest. I got hand me downs galore, and your nursery and supplies are only as expensive as you make it. some people spend 200.oo for matching crib sets!

Your main costs the first few years of life will be formula, a diapering system, and daycare.

[skinnybudget]

Re: How expensive are kids, really?

I think you can really go as low or high as you see fit. When DS was a baby we had a lot of gifts from showers (registered for gifts) and hand me downs and we bought a sling and cloth diapers. The sling cost us $40 and the cloth diapers about $300 (added up from birth to potty training), but you can go anywhere from $150+ on cloth diapers and you can get a used sling for $10-20. Luckily our insurance covered all medical expenses 100% and I breastfed exclusively. DS started solids at about 10 mos and we never bought him any special food. He never needed whole milk because he breastfed well into toddlerhood and whenever we wanted something pricier for him we asked for them at gift giving occasions. We didn't buy a crib, crib bedding, etc because he slept with us and we got things like a swing, exersaucer, bouncy seat, etc as gifts or hand me downs.

Now does this mean that we spent a total of $340 for the first year or so? No, occasionally we bought him clothes and toys, and there are expenses like tylenol, prescription co-pays, extra laundry, extra utilities, gas, more convenience foods and take out for us when we were too exhausted to cook...but who really keeps total track? When you have a baby the baby slowly becomes part of the family and a lot of things just get put into family expenses. Things like clothes and toys can be minimal, especially at the beginning! Babies don't know if they have new or used clothes and they're much happier playing with an empty box and a tupperware container than with the flashy educational toy. And garage saleing is really fun! I think that once we get to school age (in the fall!) I will really notice more expenses though.

Also, I stay home so I save a lot of money on myself because I don't need a lot of clothes and other expenses related to working outside the home. With my earning potential I basically would have been working to pay for childcare AND I wanted to stay home. Since I'm home we save a lot of money on food (have time to cook) and we have one car that we only need to use occasionally (DH bikes). When DS was younger we had tons of playdates at each other's homes, library trips, outings to the parks, all of which are free! So for us and a lot of my friends with kids, the years up to pre-K/Kindy are really flexible as far as costs.

[Broken Arrow]

Re: How expensive are kids, really?

Just for the sake of the conversation, I think it's worth pointing out that even if one is able to keep the cost down (which is a very good thing to do), you'll still take a large hit in income with either having the mother stay at home, or having to pay for daycare. Sure, one may be more financially feasible than the other (and thus be considered as a savings), but either way is still a large hit to your overall cashflow.

This won't apply to every household, but it did with mine and it will also apply to the original poster who brought up this subject. Fortunately, pearlieq has already taken this into consideration, but again, it's still worth mentioning.

The good news is, in the end, children can't be measure by its monetary cost alone, and thick or thin, we all manage somehow.

[Snoopy2645]

Re: How expensive are kids, really?

Thiers alot to consider money wise but sounds like you know a little about what your getting into already my advice is too go garage saling while pg & get as much as you can once baby comes you may not feel like it. Other is once they get older consider school lunches & with 3 growing girls myself they eat alot I cant even imagine boys!!!

Kids & babies are so worth thier expense though oh ya & if your kids have braces or glasses so far I only have 1 with glasses that cost around $100 a month for new lenses & eye visits oh ya & we paid alot driving her to drs visits out of town & she had 2 surgries probably spent well over 5k on her eyes that includes the motel rooms & eating out too!!! But she is not cross eyed & her vision has improved so its well worth it her eyes are priceless!!! Oh ya & when they are first born thier hospital cost we just paid like $30 a month tell it was paid we did the same w/ the childrens hospital.

So thier are hidden costs but they are very very well worth IMO

[PrincessPerky]

Re: How expensive are kids, really?

FYI - The baby will have no expectations other then a clean bum, a full tummy, and arms to hold him/her. Everything else are YOUR expectations.

Ditto! this is where I want to rate her post, excelent point.

as for the awakening, the first kid is the most expensive, after that you already have the crib, you know what you wont use (mostly) and if you keep to the same gender you have the clothes.

right now I have 3 kids, I spend about the same per month as when I had one..partly us being smarter, partly no new stuff needed.

Health insurance goes up major for the first kid, but often is not effected after that (though copays of course) delivery can vary greatly, and as I said in the other thread..they lie, or at least mislead, get in writing just exactly how much they cover, and just to be on the safe side if you feel a procedure is purely rutine and not needed, ask to skip..you don't want to find out the policy changed after you have a big bill in your hands!

but as for the actual cost of pregnancy..normal pregnancy..well there I have a lot to say! It isn't cheap to be tired, hungry and in need of a bathroom! (not to mention a pair of pants that stays where you put it!)

Now for teens, they do not have to cost that much, I didn't, but hten I have friends who are very expensive..you decide what they expect, and you decide what you as a family can afford...it will be more than zero, but it doesn't have to but thousands for sports, band or cell phones.

[frugalmomof1]

Re: How expensive are kids, really?

(not to mention a pair of pants that stays where you put it!)

Ugh...maternity clothes. I spent a small fortune on them...the worst part is that I don't think I will be able to use most of them the next time around because I weigh about 15 lbs less than I did before I got pregnant for DS!!!

[Broken Arrow]

Re: How expensive are kids, really?

as for the awakening, the first kid is the most expensive, after that you already have the crib, you know what you wont use (mostly) and if you keep to the same gender you have the clothes.

That's a good point, and it's something that I had meant to mention, but forgot to.

The first is generally the hardest because everything is a new challenge. Subsequent kids can be raised on hand-me-downs, your budget and lifestyle will be better adapted, and sometimes, even your older children can help you out in small but helpful care duties.

Of course, that's not mentioning personalities. Some kids are much easier to work with, and that might fool you into thinking that they're all like that. They're not. Some are very colicky and/or are very active and injury-prone. But that's not a bad thing later in life... it's just not easy when they're young.

[LuckyRobin]

Re: How expensive are kids, really?

It helps to have other family members with young kids who will pass everything on to you. I barely bought any clothes for my kids the first couple years of their lives. The clothes I did buy were all in colors a girl or boy could wear, indigo, burgandy, bright green, red, black, white, orange, yellow and jeans, and both kids wore them and never knew the other had. My daughter got plenty of frilly and pink and purple handed down. It really helped that my SIL had a daughter almost one year older than mine and my sister had four boys and we got everything that made it through them or often she had had to buy for the youngest and that was barely used and passed on in like new condition.

We have a cradle that was my husbands that his father restored for us and we were given our high chair, stroller and first car seat at my baby shower by family members. We were able to use the same car seat for both kids as when the first had grown out of it and into a booster when the next was born. And boosters aren't near as pricey.

I think it is very important to put out on your network of family, friends and colleagues that you are looking for whatever it is you want, you can get a lot that way.

As for baby food, aside from baby cereal my kids ate off my plate, I just mashed everything really well, though I did blend meat in the blender with veggies when they were old enough to start meat. I'd buy a few jars when on sale to take on the road when we wouldn't have a fridge to store it in, but that's all.

Diapers were the biggest cost, a kid uses a case a month if disposable. Then formula if you use it, but you can sign up with both the diaper companies and the formula companies and get scads of coupons.

It is not as expensive as they make out. And do read that article from the Tightwad Gazette that someone else recommended, it is very eye-opening in the opposite direction of that article.

In the end if you want a baby you will figure out how to have one, cost or no cost.

[cicy33]

Re: How expensive are kids, really?

So true! Kids are only as pricey as you make them, even after baby hood. When I became a mother I was so poor some days I don't know how we made it, but we did. yard sales were great, my dtr never went without nice clothes. and she did get some new stuff but usually when it was on sale. Kids can be in activities and be limited. You dont' have to do every single activity and there are expenses that can be passed up. You do not have to do every book buying program, one a month is more than sufficient. and also remember that usually when you have a child, the expenses go up in one area and usually down in another, like going out. so usually it balances a little bit. Daycare is the biggest expense. unless you stay at home. Then if you were working you lose that income. but believe me so worth it.

[cschin4]

Re: How expensive are kids, really?

Having kids changes your whole financial direction and picture. Besides all the costs of food, clothes, etc. You then modify your entire life. For example, when we bought our home, we bought a much bigger home than we would have if we did not have children. So, bigger home means bigger bills, taxes, etc. And, we also purchased larger cars (minivan) than we would have otherwise if no kids. Not saying you have to get those things, but it has changed the direction of our life and spending.

[PrincessPerky]

Re: How expensive are kids, really?

But at the same time...kids only change direction, not neccessarily amounts.
My husband would have a 'cool car' if it werent for needing room for kids. I would have this size house, room for an office and a guest bedroom.....Kids change direction, but what many 'by the numbers reports' don't look at, is the tendency of people to spend what they have somewhere, somehow.

Not that all do, and not all parents are frugal, or the opposite. just that when looking at kids and finances, I could spend less, I could spend more, if I were single I would want to spend differently, but I would still spend.

[34saving]

Re: How expensive are kids, really?

Me staying home is definitely our biggest "expense", but we kind of ignored my income from day 1 (put it into extra mortgage payments so we paid off the house), so it didn't hit us that hard. I second all of the "get it used", "borrow it from friends", etc. Our kids have been very cheap. A note on diapers and formula -- they're like anything else, use all of the tricks. For example, the free formula coupons are for sale on eBay, but don't be afraid to ask the doctor/hospital for freebies. Diapers -- I bought about 10 packages when CVS was clearing them out at 75% off (plus the CVS $2 off $10 purchase coupons, plus the use of extra bucks.) Even this month Walgreens has a $10 gift card with $20 Kimberly Clark purchase. Well, Kimberly Clark makes Huggies and Walgreens will probably put them on "sale" (yeah, right) for $8.99 a jumbo pack. So, $8.99 *3 - $1.50 ea manufacturer coupon - 5% cash back on credit card for drug stores - $10 G.C. = About $11.50 for a month of diapers.

[cschin4]

Re: How expensive are kids, really?

If we didn't have kids, I would be working more, have more money saved, and probably be pretty close to retiring. Now, I think about funding college for 3 kids and 1 wedding since I have a daughter!

[cicy33]

Re: How expensive are kids, really?

If we didn't have kids, I would be working more, have more money saved, and probably be pretty close to retiring. Now, I think about funding college for 3 kids and 1 wedding since I have a daughter!

You would also be more lonely, less rewarded with love, and have nothing to look forward to during retirement. Having children means pure love no matter what, always being forgiven, having something to do, grandkids during retirement. At least this is my opinion. I also have a wedding that I am having to pay for, but it is one of the most exciting things I have ever done. and I am expecting my first grandchild, also another most exciting time of my life. So worth it!