How many friends do you have?

[Broken Arrow]

Re: How many friends do you have?

I have a few good friends, but I rarely hang out with them anymore.

Considering that my life currently centers around divorce and frugality, these are two topics that they can not relate to.

Sure, I'd love to be able to have more friends that I can relate to. For now though, I am content that at least my life feels like it has stabilized... even if it's a bit too quiet at times.

[ChimbleySweep]

Re: How many friends do you have?

We have a good number of friends, but only very few close friends. It's hard... most of our friends are not married yet, do not own homes yet... they're still in the night-club mentality.

[MonkeyMama]

Re: How many friends do you have?

I try to be social. Sometime I am happy for my social life, sometimes I wish I got out more, and sometimes it exhausts me. But overall I am more of a family person, and they take a lot of time, not a lot of time for friends. & beyond that, friendship is just exhausting. I have those few friends I have had for years/decades that I can always count on, and find myself frustrated as I age how long it takes to develops those friendships. In the meantime I am stuck wading through the endless muck of pettiness and people who are the best of friends once second and the worst of enemies the next. I have found a few gems in the rough though, though I Can take that crap less and less as I age. I can't keep track of who hates who and why any more.

For a while every time I hit it off with someone they shortly thereafter MOVED, that is the frustrating thing around here, it is such an expensive area people tend to pass through pretty quick.

[sakigt]

Re: How many friends do you have?

Ive got a couple really good friends, and a bunch of friends that range between people I hang out with, go to the movies with, etc to people I only see when we go out at night.

My boyfriend is much more social than I am.

[vsjhoc]

Re: How many friends do you have?

This is one area where I am truly blessed.

I have a group of 5 close friends from our college days starting back in 1979. They are the type of friends whom I might not talk to for months (only 2 live in this city), and their lives may be radically different from mine (all have at least 2 kids, and 4 don't work outside the home), but we always feel instantly comfortable being together. We make a big effort to have a reunion every 2 years or so.

I also have a group of 4 friends from a marathon training group from five years ago. I don't run anymore but see them socially as often as we can.

I have a few more close friends that are also much more than mere acquaintances.

I also have a number of (platonic) male friends.

I am really, really lucky. I am extremely wealthy in friendships.

[beebop25blue25]

Re: How many friends do you have?

It's funny that this topic has been posted because i've been thinking alot about this lately.

I'm not very social and have problems making friends. My best friend is my husband and if something happened to him I don't know what i'd do. I have "friends" at work but they aren't the kind that I would call if I have a problem or just need someone. They are mainly people I enjoy at work and then go home.

I really realized that I had no friends when my husband, who is in the national guard, got deployed a few years back. After he left, no one, and I mean no one, called to check on me, called to cheer me up, invite me out or anything!! Family did keep in touch, but not anyone outside my family! It really made me think! BUT, even though I realize this, I can't seem to bring myself to be more social. I think I have that social anxiety disorder! I can be social when I HAVE to be, like at work, etc, but I don't go out of my way to be social!! Thanks God for computers, it has really been a release for me since I can sit behind a screen and socialize!

I do have kids, and of course, with kids you find yourself thrown into social situaitons, but even then, I avoid them at all possible!! Hmmmm, I'm even stranger than I previously thought, LOL!!!

[pearlieq]

Re: How many friends do you have?

We have lots of layers of friends.

I have 1 core, we're going to grow old together, we can work through problems, I can tell her anything friend. We've know each other since early high school and have had our ups and downs, but that's only made us stronger.

I have 2 other really good friends who I'm close to and spend time with at least weekly.

After that, I save a couple dozen more casual friends who I invite to parties and see occasionally. And then there is any number of casual situational friends (work, church, clubs, etc.) where we chat and enjoy each other's company, but don't see each other outside of the normal setting.

With that, plus DH and family, we have a great group of people and a wonderful support network, who have really come through for us in the past couple of weeks while dealing with my mom's illness.

[fairy74]

Re: How many friends do you have?

DH and I have a lot of friends, we socialize every weekend and 1-2 nights a week, I assume that will be somewhat different when we have children. I keep in touch with many friends in WA and FL as well. DH has a big family as well so we spend a lot of time with them too. I would say I have 6-8 close friends and dozens of not so close friends.

[vishenda]

Re: How many friends do you have?

I have many friends but only a few are the "social butterflies", given a choice, I would spend time rebuilding my partyphile years. Those days, ohh those days, time flies by so fast.

[JanH]

Re: How many friends do you have?

My Hubby is my best friend. He will even go shopping with me. My family--even from far away--are my closests friends. My mom and I are buddies and talk on the phone when we can. My SIL and I chat through the computer. My MIL sends me jokes and pickmeups all the time. My kids are getting to that age where we can be friends. I need to rekindle friendships lost from being busy with teenagers to being ill for so long. At least one really helped me through the bad times. I, too, have thought of this alot lately. Hubby has a lot of friendships from over the years at work. He has lunch often with different ones. Some he played sports with for years. I just have a harder time with groups. I do better one on one. We still write to some from college, but I need to get out there and give of myself a little more. I had friends from all walks growing up, so I know I would enjoy that again.

[tgavin71]

Re: How many friends do you have?

DH and I have a lot of friends, we socialize every weekend and 1-2 nights a week, I assume that will be somewhat different when we have children. I keep in touch with many friends in WA and FL as well. DH has a big family as well so we spend a lot of time with them too. I would say I have 6-8 close friends and dozens of not so close friends.

Hubby and I were the same. Before we had our son in 1996 we lived across the road from the pub. We would go for a 3 or 4 nights a weeks. Going out clubbing on the weekends. Since having kids if ( and its a big if) we go out we are home by 11pm at the latest.

[beebop25blue25]

Re: How many friends do you have?

My lack of close friendships are my own fault!! I have alot of people who try to be my friends, they call, invite me places, etc. but I just don't take them up on the offers! Matter of fact, some girls in our office are going Christmas shopping and they invited me, I came up with an excuse quick! You'd think i'd take them up and have a fun day, instead i'd rather do my own thing! I wish I wasn't that way!

[dossin1]

Re: How many friends do you have?

Like others here, I've given this friendship thing a lot of thought. I would say I have 1 really close friend, that I talk to about family/personal issues, but she lives in another state. I have a couple of people that I will call up occasionally to talk to that live locally. But mostly, it's just acquaintances at church, a couple of relatives that are close in age to me and dh ( I'm an only child) and chats with neighbors when I see them. I don't have that group of "running buddies" like on "Friends". When I was younger and single, I did have various groups of gfs that I hung out with, but it seemed like as soon as I got married, poof, they disappeared. My dh is totally introverted, he has maybe two friends, and they speak like 2-3 time a year! Also, being SAHM has been really lonely for me too, as most women with kids my age are working full-time. I only work during tax season.

[Duchesse]

Re: How many friends do you have?

I'm in agreement with the majority here, life happens. Years ago I could count quite a few friends who gave parties, cookouts, baby/bridal showers, weddings and we went clubbing. Now I have 3 people I can go out with.

One is now the proud grandma of 4 (our hanging out days are few), my oldest child and the other (my most frequent hangout partner) is awaiting the return of her beloved. When he comes home I will be somewhat displaced. She has already sounded the alarm.

I date occassionally but I'm not ready for a relationship.

[Ima saver]

Re: How many friends do you have?

I had more friends when I lived in florida. I was the president of the Jr. woman's clubs and we had a party about once a month. When I moved to the mountains in Georgia, I found the local people really resented anyone new. I have never made friends with anyone since I have lived here.
We did have some friends that moved to this area, but we see them very seldom. I hate to say it, but the older they get, the more they curse. Going out to dinner with them is pretty embarassing!