How do we opt out of Christmas gifting w/o being scrooges?

[Bookie]

Re: How do we opt out of Christmas gifting w/o being scrooges?

BOTH!

Let me tell you a little about each side of the family:

Strongly suggest you consider selling the movie rights to your family as described.

Possibility of television interest as well. Unreality TV is bound to be the next big thing.

[cschin4]

Re: How do we opt out of Christmas gifting w/o being scrooges?

b4 - Just enjoy your family! It all sounds very entertaining! You will miss them when they are gone!
If they give you a Dollar store gift, just say "thanks". Really, what does it matter anyway? Maybe they really think it is nice that they are getting you alot of stuff. Don't assume the worst.
As for the parrot thing? Well, that was just bad timing. And, if they are "non drinkers" then don't buy them a bottle of wine. Just get them a gift certificate to a local eatery, etc.

[Ima saver]

Re: How do we opt out of Christmas gifting w/o being scrooges?

The more I read, the more I am happy that I have no family!! Gosh, my dog doesn't care what I give her for christmas!!

[PrincessPerky]

Re: How do we opt out of Christmas gifting w/o being scrooges?

!!!!So sorry to have fun at your expense! but really, funny, very funny!

Ill ditto the 'don't assume the worst' but I also don't feel you need to be put out to get them gifts, regardless of their intentions....buy em one if you like, skip it if you don't, skip the whole dinner if you like! I am so not for forced family relations (while my ILs are pretty nice in general, i put my foot down after one gift frenzy..I want to see people open whatt I got them, not wrapping paper chaos followed by kid...'is that it?'......oh and I actually got that gift for you, if I wanted your kid to open it I would have labeled it 'kid')

anyway, point is participate if you like it, skip if not (and I don't mean 100% like, that will never happen!, how about 70% like?)

[MonkeyMama]

Oooh, an old thread I missed before...

You know naturally over time it has just evolved that we do not do gifts with a lot of people. IT is easy with family and close friends because we are on the same wavelength anyway.

Recently I have been doing gifts to charity instead for certain family members. On that one I feel it really depends on the person. I am not going to waste my effort on that to someone who doesn't appreciate it. But there are enough of us who are tired of getting more crap and our kids getting more crap that we would rather get a donation to charity in our name.

We had one issue come up last year where a relative with a new baby set up a gift exchange with our kids one Christmas, through grandma, and no one told us until the day before. The kids were going to stay with grandma and when she came to pick them up she said, "where's the gift?", or something along those lines. She filled us in that she had set up a playdate/gift exchange exchange and she just would pick us up something. I Could just see a lifetime of exchanging gifts though we had been working so hard to make Christmases more simple and less gifty with everyone else. So we told her no thanks, the kids could show without gifts - LOL. If no one bothered to tell us, what do they expect? We called the relative later and just explained our situation that we were hardly exchanging gifts with anyone and didn't see the point. I was very thankful for the nice gifts, and It's not like we will never buy her kid a Christmas gift, but we just wanted to take the obligation out of it. We knew if we didn't partake we wouldn't get gifts from them next year regardless, and sometimes that is the easiest to go.

We have some family members that it would be the very end of the world if we did not give gifts so we humor them. Same with some friends. It's not worth losing valued friends over their materialism and ideas about christmas sometimes...

We don't do the charity thing to save money at all. We are all very middle class and most of our friends and family are just sick of the pile of crap every year. We rather get something more meaningful or really use the time to give to people who need it. But it is also just about making christmas simpler and less materialistic, for us.

[Ima saver]

Some times I miss having family but other times it is a good thing. We don't have anyone to buy for. I bought for the granddaughters when they were kids, now I just send them checks. We never bought for my husband's family and I have no family. I have a few close friends, but we never give gifts. Sometimes, I make fudge and give it. It is my favorite gift to receive!!

[MonkeyMama]

I just have to add that if all I got was donations this Christmas I would be pleased as punch!!!

[luvnspnful]

We no longer do gift exchanges in my family........we opted to use xmas as a chance to take a mini vacation instead. The stress of shopping alone was the key element. Surprisingly, none of the relatives seem to care .

A few ideas to save money, and help to not appear Scroogish:

- make a lovely card, and include some computer printed coupons that say something like "mom/dad/sis etc, you are entitle to 1 free night of babysitting, and I'll bring the snacks and movies for the kids" , or " a weeks worth of housework/yardwork courtesy of me and the grandkids"

be creative- make it something that particular person or set of parents will appreciate.

for the out-of-towners ( especially nice for long distance grandparents), make a dvd/video greeting card from the kids, each one telling the grandparents how much each kid loves them and misses them. If you have the resources, have the kids put on a little xmas pageant, and include footage of it too. I bet the relatives treasure this little gift more than any boxed gift you could send.

As for any other people, include a note with your xmas card inviting them all to a post-newyears luncheon or dinner party or something-make it a theme thingy, and wish them all a great holiday.

Hope this helps.........

[Coleroo]

In my family (we have a large family - mom had 9 siblings, all with kids and grandkids) you would always look like a scrooge if the choice was not to participate in the gifting festivities in SOME manner. No amount of words could make up for it. The participation in gifting is part of what keeps people connected. We dont expect big fancy gifts, we just expect participation in some form (we do name drawing most years, and keep the limit to 20$ max for our drawn name.. then gifts for the kids is a free for all).

I haven't had a chance to read through every post on here, so im sorry if you mentioned why you wont be doing this but...

Have you thought of ways to gift for free?
For most families, the holidays aren't about *what* they get - its about sharing a connection with others special to them. Home made things? Baked cookies? Gift certificates for errands a specific family member needs? (perhaps a trip to the grocery store for a "new mom" cousin or a foot massage for your favorite neice... or weekend babysitting for a sister who needs a vacation?). There are so many gifts out there that are free or next to nothing - and you wouldn't have to worry about looking scroogish.

Last christmas I gave everyone "reindeer mix" using the hillbilly housewife's (Hillbilly Housewife) magic milkshake mix. I put the dry ingredients into gallon ziplock bags ("reindeer mix") and the wet indredients ("reindeer goo") into teeny round tubs. Then I folded colorful christmas material I had over the bags, then wrote up a cute story (with clipart on it) about how mrs claus came up with reindeer mix so her family could have milkshakes anytime they wanted - and printed it out and attatched it it to the wrapped mix. I think I gave out 30 of them, and it cost less than $10 to make everything i needed... and i still had 5 left over after christmas.

Unique homemade ideas go along way.

[Gruntina]

It seems like many people focus that Christmas means "gift giving" and it wears down people both financially and mentally.

Why not just reevaluate what the holiday means to you and your family and start new traditions where it is not about "gift giving" and thus not have to worry about running into the same situation year after year.

I rather enjoy life with people and not eliminate holiday fest even if I do not have any money. Hiding away/avoiding somewhere/something seems more scrooges like. And with scrooge, it was about the money!

I guess my moto for this is: “If you do not like something, then change it.�

[smallSscrooge]

No worries

The issue we are having is "what do you get the 10 year old that has everything"? Also, the one thing we did get has to be taken back already because his other grandma already bought it for him.
This is a theme that has repeated itself for the last few years and we are at the point of opting out of Christmas altogether (except for the religious end of it). It causes nothing but frustration and anger because it is not about the "thought" anymore; it's the gift receipt that counts.
In the order of goodwill and transparency I have been a long time critic of the commercialization of Christmas. It is not about getting together with family, sharing lives and giving praise to God anymore, and that is really sad.
I could go on, but my advice is to do what is right in your heart on this one. Truly understanding family and friends will appreciate your decision and it will give your family an opportunity to get back to what is really important during this season. And remember, there are always birthdays and the occasional out-of-the-blue gift that will be much more appreciated.
Cheers!

[cicy33]

Here's something I bet the 10 year old doesnot have: A savings account. or a cd or something like that. You could set up a savings account and deposit money every birthday or xmas and when enough change it into a cd. then when he got older I can guarantee he will appreciate it even it he doesn't now.

For us, xmas is the time to give a gift because all year we don't. It is our way of showing affection. It doesn't mean it has to be expensive. I have four neices and 1 nephew I adore. So I get the something I think that they will like. Generally the adults get together and say okay, what do you need? We all (fortunately) prefer to get things that are useful. I do agree with the other poster. Bake some cookies or make some candy, people love cute plates of baked goods and you could do that really cheap for a lot of people. Lots of people do not have time to bake. If the reason for opting out of xmas is strictly for wanting to eliminate cost, this is a great option. However, if you are wanting to opt out due to stress or tired of it then this will not work. True friends and family will not be offended by a thoughtful inexpensive gift.

[nelson84]

Send everybody an email and cancel it, just do it around September so they don't buy any for you. Take your money and go on a cruise.

CHRISTMAS WITH THE CRANKS!