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Re: I don't believe in allowances
Teaching children a good work ethic and that they will be rewarded in relation to their performance does have value. But there is equal or greater value in teaching children that we all depend on each other and need to contribute our fair share to the household chores, just as we expect to receive help and material possessions from other family members when we need them.
It has to be a balancing act. Too much emphasis on being rewarded for doing work around the house or getting good grades makes everything a commodity and leads to an aditude of "Show me the money, or I won't do squat!" Too much emphasis on "we're all in this together" and "from each according to his ability; to each according to his needs" leaves your kids expecting the whole world to act like one big commune. But worst of all is the situation where the kid is just handed everything and isn't expected to give anything in return.
While I question the posibility of using them in the real world, I'm rather fond of the child-raising methods advocated by B.F. Skinner in Walden II. In a way all parents used to use those techniques in various versions. They would intentionally create physical, mental, or emotional challenges for their kids in order to toughen them up. But now instant gratification seems to be the rule of the day and heaven forbid junior should be denied anything or face even a minor dificulty. {I realize none of you are like that. I'm just ranting because of people I've known in my real life.
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Teaching children a good work ethic and that they will be rewarded in relation to their performance does have value. But there is equal or greater value in teaching children that we all depend on each other and need to contribute our fair share to the household chores, just as we expect to receive help and material possessions from other family members when we need them.
It has to be a balancing act. Too much emphasis on being rewarded for doing work around the house or getting good grades makes everything a commodity and leads to an aditude of "Show me the money, or I won't do squat!" Too much emphasis on "we're all in this together" and "from each according to his ability; to each according to his needs" leaves your kids expecting the whole world to act like one big commune. But worst of all is the situation where the kid is just handed everything and isn't expected to give anything in return.
While I question the posibility of using them in the real world, I'm rather fond of the child-raising methods advocated by B.F. Skinner in Walden II. In a way all parents used to use those techniques in various versions. They would intentionally create physical, mental, or emotional challenges for their kids in order to toughen them up. But now instant gratification seems to be the rule of the day and heaven forbid junior should be denied anything or face even a minor dificulty. {I realize none of you are like that. I'm just ranting because of people I've known in my real life.
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) Others will be wanters . If you come down too hard not allowing them to earn any monies, they will feel trapped. If they see something they really want and have no way to get it, they could be tempted to get what they want in ways not honest...and that is something you MUST head off early!
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