"Spending Addict, Need Help"!!!

[cschin4]

And, you want to make this UNLIKE a diet. Meaning, you want to change your whole thought process and mentality about money. I no longer enjoy recreational shopping. I hate going to the mall for "something to do". I hate browsing gift shops, etc. I don't need or want any more junk filling up my life or house!
So, instead I would rather go for a walk, go camping, go to the library, stay home and play cards or a board game, play badmition with the kids and , play my guitar, watch the birds, and on and on. I center my activities
around things I enjoy and do not center my activities around money and shopping. It is surprising how many people shop for recreation and spend every weekend at the mall. Boring!
If I do go on excursions that involve spending, my money will be spent on good food rather than souveniers and other "stuff". I go to enjoy the experience not to collect yet another item
Anyway, I don't want you to get the point that I don't shop. Indeed I do but I know what i am planning to buy when I go shopping. And, I will wait until I find exactly what I want before buying. My recent purchase was picking out a new stove for my kitchen. I researched all the stoves and finally decided on a 36 inch Jenn Air Gas range with convection. It has everything I want on it but also doesnt have things I don't want like too many electronic buttons. I also researched the price and and found a store out of town selling it. So, we are not all living like misers either.

[disneysteve]

getting DVDs for free at the library instead of paying for them at Blockbuster

I hear this suggestion a lot. Just keep in mind that it doesn't apply to everyone. Our library charges to borrow DVDs. Another option is the RedBox machines that charge $1 for an overnight rental. You can often find them in the supermarket.

And, you want to make this UNLIKE a diet. Meaning, you want to change your whole thought process and mentality about money. I no longer enjoy recreational shopping.

Actually, changing your mindset is exactly what a diet should be. If you don't change your lifestyle and behavior, you will never lose weight and keep it off. Sure, I can go on a crash "money diet" and stop excess spending for a few weeks, but if I go right back to old habits after that, any savings will disappear. Same goes for food. I can give up sweets for a month and drop a couple of pounds, but if I go right back to eating junk, the weight will all come back.

I'm with you on not enjoying recreational shopping. It is something we always used to do. Free time on a weekend afternoon? Go to the mall. Have lunch at the food court, browse the stores, maybe pick up a thing or two. Now, I hardly ever go to a mall. I find that I just don't enjoy it. There is rarely anything at all that I'm interested in and most stores are way upscale for what we typically buy. When we do need something, you are more likely to find us at Target and Wal-Mart.

[rob62521]

Actually, changing your mindset is exactly what a diet should be. If you don't change your lifestyle and behavior, you will never lose weight and keep it off.
I'm with you on not enjoying recreational shopping. It is something we always used to do. Free time on a weekend afternoon? Go to the mall. Have lunch at the food court, browse the stores, maybe pick up a thing or two. Now, I hardly ever go to a mall. I find that I just don't enjoy it. There is rarely anything at all that I'm interested in and most stores are way upscale for what we typically buy. When we do need something, you are more likely to find us at Target and Wal-Mart.

You have changed your mindset, Disneysteve, to find other things to do besides recreational shopping. You are probably not a favorite of the mall stores or the mall itself. I think about what people used to do before they could go to the mall and entertain themselves. I imagine a lot of shopping is done because of boredom.

[rob62521]

And congrats to cameorose for taking your lunch and saving money! Well done!

[maat55]

One thing I like to do is, find two or three things you can take out of the cart at the checkout. Find everything you don't need and pull it. Reading finance books and not looking at want adds helps a lot.

[cschin4]

I imagine a lot of shopping is done because of boredom.

But, why are we bored? We have more to do than any other previous generation if we choose to. We can pursue our hobbies, read a book, paint, quilt, exercise, hike, yet there are hundreds of cars at the mall every sunny beautiful day. I don't get it.

[SnoopyCool]

Congratulations on the first steps.

Something that helps me is frequenting Saving Advice: reading the boards and blogs as often as time permits (and posting a little myself). I'm bouyed-up by people that want to take care of their finances. Keep reading and keep posting!

[Ima saver]

We live two hours one way, from the closest mall. It use to be something to do on your day off. You almost felt like you needed to buy something to justify 4 hours in the car that day. Of course, you had to buy an expensive lunch and dinner before you came home.
So, we would go and buy things that we really did not need and spend money we did not need to spend.
Finally, about 8 years ago, I said no more!! I just don't need to buy more stuff!! I can order what few clothes (jeans and shorts) I need from QVC or Penny's catalog.
I carry a list of what I need to buy with me and occasionally (3 times a year or so) I stop at Wal mart.
I haven't missed going to a mall at all!!(or that 4 hours in the car in heavy traffic)

[snafu]

Good for you cameorose, you've taken a giant step forward by realizing that you don't want to repeat your mom's problems and that much of your purchases were impulse buying. Avoiding fast food at work has the added bonus of being good for your health. So much F/food has too much salt, chemicals and calcium leaching products.

To help avoid impulse buying, compell yourself to discarding an old item each time you buy something new. New jeans mean old jeans go to GW or SA etc. Use a place on your calendar for 'cost avoidance.' Another is to make a note of what you want to buy and wait 48 hours before making the 'buy' to decide if it's a 'want' or a 'need.' Don't fall for the marketing ploys. They don't care about you...they just want to get their hand in your pocket!

I note savings and add the sums at the end of the month. I transfer that sum to a savings project [just now trying to fund a winter holiday].

Keeping in touch on this Board helps keep you motivated. Let us know your successes and we'll cheer you on.

[saveforhouse]

Couldn't Agree With Deadgoon More

cameorose, I think another thing you need to look at is WHY you want to be more frugal. Do you have a goal in mind like saving more for retirement, buying a house, buying a car, getting out of debt?

I am on the same page as deadgoon 100%! I used to spend a lot of money myself, especially when it comes to designer clothes and my sports car. However, about three years ago, I completely changed my mind. There were a few things that changed my mind but the main ones were Robert Kiyosaki's Rich Dad series of books and two life goals: the fact that I don't enjoy the idea of working in a cubicle the rest of my life and also the pure desire to own my own home!

I use my two goals to my advantage. Both require saving money and investing wisely. To "not have to work", I need to generate enough passive income from my investments and websites such that the income is greater than my expenses each month. At that point, I can quit my job and work from home on my own projects full time, how much fun! To "own my own house", I need to save up a large down payment fund. Saving up a down payment is by far the largest savings goal of my life, one that takes years.

Whenever I get in the mood to spend, I visualize these goals in my mind. Instead of getting short term happiness from a new shirt or outfit, I now am waiting for the "delayed gratification" of the huge life changing wins of owning my house and not having to work at an office. To summarize, for me personally, I have found nothing more motivating than visualizing my big goals - this strategy always keeps me on track! It has even caused me to do some crazy frugal things I thought I would never do, but that's another story...

[Secret Stash]

I totally agree with the don't shop recreationally. I used to do that and I would always end up with something I didn't need. I also stopped going to the malls and different stores with my friends, I'm much less likely to buy something when I am alone.

[clubneary]

I am trying this one

One thing I like to do is, find two or three things you can take out of the cart at the checkout. Find everything you don't need and pull it. Reading finance books and not looking at want adds helps a lot.

That's an awesome idea! I am going to start doing that. Right before I get to check out I will look in my cart and get rid of the things I don't really need. I try not to shop with any member of my family but once in a while my 8 year old DD will come with me and "persuade" me to buy things that aren't on the list.

Do you take the stuff back or just give it to the cashier and tell her you don't want it?

[osadg]

My first roomate in college also had a real problem controlling her spending. She actually took all the cards out and switched to cash. She TRIED to avoid going shopping or meeting friends at the mall, but it just didn't happen so she started giving herself an allowance. She only took out an pre-determined sum of money at the start of each week, and she tossed the cards, and checks. At first it was still difficult for her, but after a few very broke weeks, she realized how fast the money really went, and sure enough she quit spending. When she was using her debit card (and credit cards) she didn't realized how much she would spend, when she had to count out the cash-she DID! With her new "spending" habits she was even able to pay her credit cards off in about a year and a half.
You can certainly stop spending-you just have to figure out what works for you!
Good Luck!!

[rob62521]

Many money advisors recommend paying in cash because then you see it actually leave your hands. I'm wondering if more people are going to pay cash after the incident with major retailers having credit card info stolen last week.