Do you ever feel really guilty about spending?

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Re: Do you ever feel really guilty about spending?

All the time I wonder if I am allowing life to pass me by, while I save for the future. On my website I actually meditated on whether I should have gone to Europe after college? Or just charged an expensive vacation. Not needs but wants. It's so hard to not want what everyone seems to have. And I wonder what am I saving for?

[ericmedem]

Re: Do you ever feel really guilty about spending?

Its interesting to me how something like money, could make someone feel guilty. Its paper, its man made, it cant make you feel one way or another. If your digging for reasons to feel guilty, try not enjoying the life that was gifted to you, not sucking up every moment with your family because you so focused on Frugality.

Frugality is clearly a lifestyle, a lifestyle based on saving money. Essentially frugal people are living a lifestyle based on money, which I would think is what you were trying to get away from in the first place.

[ericmedem]

Re: Do you ever feel really guilty about spending?

All the time I wonder if I am allowing life to pass me by, while I save for the future. On my website I actually meditated on whether I should have gone to Europe after college? Or just charged an expensive vacation. Not needs but wants. It's so hard to not want what everyone seems to have. And I wonder what am I saving for?

Thats a very thought provoking post. I think the answer is pretty clear. Will you ever look back at your life and wish you had more money? or Will you look back at your life and wished you had gone to Europe? I dont even know you and the answer is clear.

A poll was done on many of the seniors living in nursing homes and they were asked what they regretted most in life. Almost 100% of them said they didnt regret anything that they did. They regreted the things that they didnt do.

I went to europe and put myself in huge debt, the debt is gone now but my memories of europe with be with me forever. Money can always be replaced experiences cant

[threebeansalad]

Re: Do you ever feel really guilty about spending?

Guilt is feeling I think we all experience to various degrees, be it nature or nurture.

I naturally feel guilty over a lot stuff. It's just my personality. If our house gets really messy, I feel guilty, whereas my husband feels nothing. If I don't exercise, I feel guilty. I'm working on being less rigid, but having such a guilt-inviting personality can have benefits. People tell me I have a tremendous work ethic-- I agree, and I think some of what propels my ethic is guilt. If I don't do a great job I something, I'll wish I had worked harder, so I typically always work hard, to avoid feeling guilty. It's not about pleasing other people, it's knowing that I did the best I was able to do.

Before people assume I'm a nutty workaholic, I will tell you then as I've gotten older, I've realized (and am still realizing) that it's better to channel your energies into things you enjoy. I've learned to let things go that aren't important to me, even if I might have the potential to succeed. When I succeed at something, I do feel happy for my success, and don't obsess over how it could have been better-- I don't consider myself a perfectionist.

[Aleta]

Re: Do you ever feel really guilty about spending?

To ericmedem: I don't know why people can't go on a trip like that and also have a decent retirement. When you're saving, you can also save for a trip. I have been doing it. I have wanted to go to Europe before retirement when the our health is better, but with Europe being so expensive now; I'm waiting. Might want to go to Canada or someother place less expensive.

Most of what has been said here is true to a point. I watched my step-father work every holiday to save more money. He had to end up retiring early medically. He died at 66 years old, never seeing the fruits of his labor. As much as he planned, he really never planned. My father-in-law will be 87 in June. He spent it as he made it and saved very little and has a hard time today wanting to live the way he once did. So, I saw both spectrums of saving or not saving. I choose to save, but also to do some fun things in life. If you save wisely, you can do some of your dreams.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Re: Do you ever feel really guilty about spending?

Thats a very thought provoking post. I think the answer is pretty clear. Will you ever look back at your life and wish you had more money? or Will you look back at your life and wished you had gone to Europe? I dont even know you and the answer is clear.

A poll was done on many of the seniors living in nursing homes and they were asked what they regretted most in life. Almost 100% of them said they didnt regret anything that they did. They regreted the things that they didnt do.

I went to europe and put myself in huge debt, the debt is gone now but my memories of europe with be with me forever. Money can always be replaced experiences cant

Well I don't know. The answer is never easy nor open. Will I regret it? I don't know, maybe in 60 years I'll regret it, but then again I don't know. I don't know if I'll regret it because maybe I'll be happier knowing I provided well for my children instead. Or maybe I'll be happier knowing I got to be a stay at home mom because we didn't go to Europe. I don't know, I won't know until I get to the end of the journey.

By nature I'm a conservative person, and so far I do regret Europe somewhat. Because now I'm getting to the point where I will never backpack Europe because I need more comforts in life. But instead I have a nice large amount of home equity, great start in retirement, and an opportunity to stay at home with my kids should I choose.

I also regret not going to other exotic locales, but we're going slowly. So should I feel completely deprived? Probably not. I've seen quite a lot of the world, more than the average american for sure. I've been to Europe, Japan, China, Carribean, and US.

Ask me in 60 years...

[Ima saver]

Re: Do you ever feel really guilty about spending?

Well, I have never been to Europe and I don't regret it. I enjoy saving and I enjoy splurging on the things that I enjoy, like eating out with dh and sporty cars!!

[disneysteve]

Re: Do you ever feel really guilty about spending?

I went to europe and put myself in huge debt, the debt is gone now but my memories of europe with be with me forever. Money can always be replaced experiences cant

That can be a very dangerous theory. What you can not replace, no matter how hard you may try, is the benefit of compounding growth over time. Spending money, whether for stuff or for experiences (and I, too, am partial to experience spending), when you should probably be investing for your future, can never truly be replaced. While there may be retirees who regret not doing something, I'm sure there are lots of retirees who regret not saving more money.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Re: Do you ever feel really guilty about spending?

disneysteve you mayb be right. Maybe more retirees regret not saving more

[ericmedem]

Re: Do you ever feel really guilty about spending?

That can be a very dangerous theory. What you can not replace, no matter how hard you may try, is the benefit of compounding growth over time. Spending money, whether for stuff or for experiences (and I, too, am partial to experience spending), when you should probably be investing for your future, can never truly be replaced. While there may be retirees who regret not doing something, I'm sure there are lots of retirees who regret not saving more money.

There may also be some retirees that regret not adding more value to themselves and making more. Making money is far from rocket science.

[LuxLiving]

Re: Do you ever feel really guilty about spending?

I used to when I knew I had my head in the sand over our debts. Now that the majority of our debts are paid and retirement savings are getting on track then no, not so much. We do the frugal things that we do so that we can have some of the fun extras, otherwise with our income (which by the way The Hubster is totally content with) it would be foolish to not count the cost before spending unnecessarily.

We've worked hard to be sure the essentials and unexpecteds are planned, saved for and covered, and with the remaining we choose carefully what we'd like to indulge our selves with.

In regards to the retirement issue, I doubt you would find many who'd say, "Oh I wish we had saved LESS money!"

[Ima saver]

Re: Do you ever feel really guilty about spending?

I guess I am one of the oldest on here and I would never say, I wish we had saved less money! We have no 401 or pension plan to fall back on. we have to live on our savings and a little bit of social security.

[pjmama]

Re: Do you ever feel really guilty about spending?

At times I guess I feel guilty after meaningless spending, but not so much now that I've started really thinking about my purchases. There are times that I break the budget on things like clothes and eating out at restaurants, but it really depends on the circumstances and how much is being spent. Sometimes you gotta treat yourself. As long as you're not going over the top, I think indulgences every so often are necessary.

[atorrin]

I very rarely buy something without feeling that I shouldn't have. It's good for saving money but makes shopping HARD.

[Johansen8]

Im guilty about letting other people borrow money, and found out they used the money for shopping clothes etc instead of using it for better cause.