Messy House

[poundwise]

Re: Messy House


He may could have used the video and other evidence to get her non-voluntary help with her obvious mental illness.

Of course, we don't have all the info. I just agree with PP that he should have exhausted more extreme options. Calling Dr. Phil and trying to get professional cleaners were good ideas, but insufficient when dealing with someone who is irrational.

[PrincessPerky]

Re: Messy House

Well, according to the link and video, he's tried to clean it, and even hired professional cleaners to clear it out once. However, it got cluttered up again. .

Once that is the point, cleaning isn't done once! it is done each and every day!

decluttering isn't done once either, it has to be continuous.

It is Never enough...just do it each and every day and it will be close.

[DivaJen]

Re: Messy House

I guess none of you who say all the husband had to do was X, Y or Z have never lived with someone with a mental illnes. When someone behaves irrationally, you cannot act logically and expect all to be well. That is to say, you can try to do what seems to make sense, but if the other person is acting illogically you are spinning your wheels. Taking away CC's and throwing stuff away may have accelerated the process of reaching some sort of bottom. I know for me it brought a relationship to the brink of violence and was the beginning of the end. You can't just talk to the person and think that's going to work, or take care of their messes for them.

[boefixepa]

Re: Messy House

Okay, I made this an office video and all three of us watched it and could not believe it! They need some serious help!

[CheaplyClever]

Re: Messy House

I asked my husband to watch the video and afterwards he said, "The man obviously doesn't have any b*##s."

[DivaJen]

Re: Messy House

I asked my husband to watch the video and afterwards he said, "The man obviously doesn't have any b*##s."

I disagree - the guy filed for divorce and got out. I can't imagine that was an easy decision for him to make.

[Broken Arrow]

Re: Messy House

Once that is the point, cleaning isn't done once! it is done each and every day!

decluttering isn't done once either, it has to be continuous.

It is Never enough...just do it each and every day and it will be close.

Ok ok. Please don't be upset.

I'm not trying to imply anything, just stating what was written or said in the link.

I know cleaning isn't easy. Believe it or not, but I am a neat freak but my ex wasn't....

[kealina]

Re: Messy House

unless you guys are familiar with the mental illness behind it, it's hard to understand... to most of us, me included, cleaning every day, maintenance, and decluttering... but to people who have hoarding issues and OCD (which it's believed to be related to) it's such a different reality...
i've done research because my FIL's relatives had a similar problem (although wealthier and cleaner)... i never met them because they've been deceased for at least a decade but i noticed FIL has difficulty letting go of things so i became interested because some of the behaviors (they don't just collect stuff) affect all of us in the family...
also, because i've seen this before (a good friends house) when we were younger, i have to mention that it's a lot harder to clean a place that is super cluttered... my parents are super neatniks so i'm very used to constant cleaning but it only takes a few minutes to wipe a counter that is clear... can you imagine if you had to move lots of crap out of the way?
i hope no one thinks i'm being too sensitive or defensive... i'm trying not to be as i can understand both views....
but i'm thinking of my friend who grew up in a very, very messy house... she was such a great person and deserved so much better than what she got... thankfully, even tho i miss her as she moved far away, she is now in a better situation.... married to a nice guy, three little girls, etc...

[PrincessPerky]

Re: Messy House

..... getting a divorce may have solved that guys house problems, but it sure didn't help his ex any....

[Broken Arrow]

Re: Messy House

I can understand that sentiment. My ex cheated on me and left me for another man.

That's how I ended up divorced.

But, I would think she should at least try to get professional help....

[jaksilee]

Re: Messy House

Wow that is just amazing. I can't see how he could live in that. Why didn't he hire someone to clean every day or every week so it didn't get to that point?