50 and in debt

[redbag]

I'm 50 years old, have no savings, am in credit card debt of about $15,000and it has all happened without me really knowing how.

It started when my husband lost his job. We probably could have survived that if that had been the end of it, but then he crashed the car totalling it about a week later. Next up was lending money to my sister who was going through a horrible divorce and needed money for a lawyer. Somewhere among all this my brother ran into some financial problems of his own and needed "a little help" paying his mortgage.

While I'm trying to help out everyone else, I ended up using my credit cards to meet my own needs. When those bills started to add up, the depression set in and I ended up charging even more on the credit cards.

Now I'm scared that I might lose my job. The thought of trying to pay off everything is so bad that I can't sleep at night. How does one escape from this financial nightmare?

[ActYourWage]

I would suggest reading The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. This will guide you to some ways to help you.

[creditcardfree]

Is losing your job a real possibility in your line of work? Or are you just scared because you hear about others?

First stop charging anything else to the card.
Look at ALL the ways you spend money. Find ways to cut back.
Any extra money from cutting back or a second job can be applied to the credit card.

If you don't have even a small emergency fund, have a garage sale or sell some high dollar item to give yourself a small cushion.

Read around on the forums and blogs for more ideas.

Tell us more details of your situation, income and expenses. We can provide more detailed suggestions!

[wincrasher]

You need to tell your brother and sister that you expect them to pay you back. Let them know you are hurting. I'd go so far as to put them on a payment schedule if that is what it takes.

Your relatives need to know that you're not there for a convenient hand-out to them when they get themselves in trouble.

[GREENBACK]

You need to tell your brother and sister that you expect them to pay you back. Let them know you are hurting. I'd go so far as to put them on a payment schedule if that is what it takes.

Your relatives need to know that you're not there for a convenient hand-out to them when they get themselves in trouble.

This has been discussed here before but it's a common issue. When you "loan" money to people, relative or not, you should treat it as a gift if you value the relationship with the person. Many, many relationships between friends and relatives go down the tubes from loaning money to someone in a desperate situation and having the expectation of being paid back. Don't do it if you can't afford to lose it.

[wincrasher]

You're right. Often times people let their loved ones, either unfortunate or irresponsible, thru the use of guilt or sympathy, drag them down with them.

It's really hard to tell a sibling no. But it shouldn't be so hard to tell them they gotta pay it back.

[disneysteve]

You're right. Often times people let their loved ones, either unfortunate or irresponsible, thru the use of guilt or sympathy, drag them down with them.

It's really hard to tell a sibling no. But it shouldn't be so hard to tell them they gotta pay it back.

Suze Orman is famous for saying, "You need to learn to say NO out of love rather than YES out of guilt."

[nmboone]

If you keep worrying about something that hasn't happened, you'll drive yourself insane! Just work on the debt that's going on now. When you actually lose your job, that's when it's time to figure out what you'll do.

[PetMom]

Loaning to relatives in dire need is a predicament.

but now here you are in debt.

My sister and husband got on the Dave Ramsey program and it is hard but it does work. Although they attended a workshop/lecture you can get his book free at the library.

Also listen to his radio show on the computer.

Being on his program (or just even saying you are) should be a quick answer to anyone needing loans.

You have done your loans to loved ones now they need to realize being middle age you need to get very serious about your finances.

If they ask for more money have the reply that you were about to aske them for money.

And it certainly would not hurt to ask for a little back as repayment - that also would deter any future requests - and you just might get some money back.