Update! Need advice

[ummabdullah]

Hi there I have written a post on this site before. I'm in a dilemma.
my husband has just recieved a raise and we have put an offer on the house.

We have exactly £9,000 saved up.

we put an offer on a house which is £160,000 and needs a 16,000 downpayment. We are hoping to borrow the rest of the downpayment from my mother in law.

However the house is not in a very good school area.. actually the worst in the whole northeast.. Schools are a huge issue here in england because of bullying and low class uneducated families. (they are not as open minded as families on lesser incomes in america).

So my daughter would have to go to private school.
the payment would be £815 a month. and on the tightest budget where you couldn't even crack my ass cheeks open with a walnut cracker cost of living that we could possibly have is £1000.

We could possibly have a rental income of £300 a month.. however we need to fix up our rental property to the cost of at least £2,000.

and most importantly I need a car. We can buy one for about £4,000.. a good quality car that we needn't fear would break down as soon as be bought it.

My priorities are

Car
Education for me as well as my daughter
House
another car for my husband because his is breaking down


Now as you may have noticed.. their is no way my budget would be able to handle all my expenses and take care of the priorities that we have in one shot.
I have put an offer on the house (that I would just have to move out in a year and half anyway) and I am thinking of backing out of the purchase.

If I back out of the purchase.. then I can save about £24k by next august plus keep my £9,000 in the bank. My mother in law has promised to give me a bit of help in fixing up the house I live in at the moment. I will also secure a car for myself, my husband, and have money for education and keeping my sanity (i.e. daycare, excercise,) and my daughters education.

If I don't back out of the house we will only save at most 14,000 by jan of next year. Without being able to afford childcare for my son.. and therefore stalling my own education efforts. However, we would have more of a social life with friends as their will be room for entertainment and a garden for the children to play in. In selling the house we would prob. break even to have our 16k downpayment back..

I just think it makes sense to take care of my priorities first. The housing market isn't going to go so drastically up that it will be unaffordable .. Will it??? And a better area would mean I would not have to pay for private school for my daughter.

Any words of reason out there??

[PrincessPerky]

Re: Update! Need advice

I am a homeschooler so education to me is TOP priority....but then I also educate all my kids, so I would never be able to put UE in daycare (can't teach a baby when you have to corral a bunch of them..) Anyway, are there internet options for you to learn? those don't cost as much around here, and dont take me away from the kids (no travel time, so even if I spend just as much time learning, I spend less away form them) though come to think of it, I wouldn't mind a break .

That said, I think I am also LAZY, so I would go with staying where I am and saving, cause I hate to move

[andy'smama]

Re: Update! Need advice

I second the idea about staying where you are for now. Maybe you'll find a house in an area with better schools. I think if you did buy this house you would just end up with two tuition payments when your son starts school. I've heard that it's better to buy the worse house in a good neighborhood (and spend some money to fix it up) rather than the best house in a poorer neighborhood....makes for a better investment.

[ummabdullah]

Re: Update! Need advice

princess perky,

homeschooling is an option as the kids grow older due to religious reasons. However, I do not agree with homeschooling unless children have the right social structure to deal with it. I have many friends who for religious reasons homeschool their children. Good families with huge families.. and the kids have nil social skills. In fact it was my hope to educate the children at home.. until I noticed how every single one of the parents who homeschooled their children.. were living.. They are in the house most days.. teaching the children.. cooking and the never ending cleaning. The children lack in serious social skills..

It is my hope that my children will not only be academic but also well rounded children capable of dealing with the outside world. I can always educated them at home after school.. cuz it will still take plenty of effort on my part. And perhaps as they become older and more involved in activities within our communtiy it will be much more plausable to homeschool them.

studying with children is nearly impossible my dear. I doubt you have truly done any academic studying unless you had some family outside of the home helping with the children. Every situation is different.. however many of my friends are phd, master and doctorate holders and not one of them has ever been able to properly study with the children at home. I have also tried and this was not possible.

Princess perky.. I am sure you are a nice person.. but you seem rather close minded to another persons situation. My dear the world does not revolve around you or your opinions.. Every person has a different situation and I think it is beneficial to take that into consideration rather then pressing your own style of living upon them. My priorities are very different then your priorities.

I am a very tight person.... and always have been.. My husband is even more than me.. and his parents are even tighter still.. His father does not use the oven.. nor the heating in his house.. (although it becomes very cold in london).. He gives his wife £5 a week to spend on food.. and she has to spend her own money on the rest of what she needs. (although she doesn't have a job). It truly is expensive to live in this country.. On my husbands salary we do not get any tax credits.. as people on lesser incomes and just to live without a mortgage on the tightest budget is £815 month without taking into consideration his medical fees. I have a friend whose husband makes under 14,000 a year and she is able to acquire £800 a month in child tax credits to help pay the bills. She pays exactly as much as me on her bills.. and I will repeat that she is a tight wad as well. In fact their is alot that westerners could learn from pakistani people... when it comes to saving money and living beneath their means. As it is very welcomed throughout the culture and in fact expected.

You once mentioned in a previous post that someone told you that "you have it all."

If I was to look into your life dear I am sure I would find alot of things I would not agree with. Its called different strokes for different folks.

So although I love advice from any person I do not like it if a person is close minded to not consider another persons situation..

kind regards

[ummabdullah]

Re: Update! Need advice

I second the idea about staying where you are for now. Maybe you'll find a house in an area with better schools. I think if you did buy this house you would just end up with two tuition payments when your son starts school. I've heard that it's better to buy the worse house in a good neighborhood (and spend some money to fix it up) rather than the best house in a poorer neighborhood....makes for a better investment.

Andy's mamma thank you for your support and encouragement. We officially backed out of the house and are very happy about our decision. Now the world is still our oyster. I have also heard that same about buying a small house in a better area.. and it has been the basis of my search.

I feel very happy about staying in my small house for a while.. and may even upgrade to a 3 bedroom down the street for only 30k more.. until we find a house which is suitable in the area we would like to live..

and save on those school fees too.
I am very excited about my future options now..
and thank you for your email because it really made me feel comfortable
kind regards

[PrincessPerky]

Re: Update! Need advice

I can understand I come off a bit close minded a lot online, afterall you asked for advice..I gave it..you dont have to like it but lets just say I find it odd that one would ask for advice then complain about it...ignore it, yes, definatly (I ignore plenty of good avice, and plenty more bad) but complain about it?

I most certainly can never know exactly what you are going thru, and you are not at all likely to know what I am going thru, no time for all the details, but we try to give ideas based on what we think we know, if it helps great if not, ignore away. I just got an email form a friend telling me all about her recent grocery 'deals', of pre pagaged foods, I don't buy them due to preservatice, so what good is telling me abou their great deals? no big, she was trying to help, I will prolly mention how useless it is, and prolly without tact, cause I really seem to fail at it even when I try, so often I don't.

As for studying...that has to be creative, no doubt about it, so does having a home buisness, and I am the first to admit I am often to uncreative to figure out how to get a garden growing much less run a buisness, but others have, and I need to try to work out my priorities not assumne it can't be done. (ever notice how bad my typing is? mainly due to a kid in arms, or a kid being picked up mid sentance, or a toy retrieved..drink filled...potty help..whatever you name it I do it mid post! maybe that makes my posts worthless, but it does amuse me and make me feel like I am more than just a mom...So don't go thinking I have it all just cause so many people assume it I generally laugh when they say it, and shake my head wondering!)

Oh and I would love to have someone outside of the home to watch my kids I reciently accuired a dear teenage friend to stick around..and I though life would be so easy with her to stay with my kids..but I found that I spend more time parenting her than doing my stuff! oh well, she is worth it, and a good lesson in what the teen years can be like.